Trying to keep up

It's hard to be a fiancee, a teacher, and a blogger at the same time. Other identities that slip through the cracks include good roommate, daughter that calls home more than once a week, faithful correspondent, writer, poet, photographer, student, reader for pleasure, music listener, and person decent to be around in the morning. I am just so busy!

And when I'm not busy, I'm still often a little stressed. Who wouldn't be? Today I left work smiling, in the realization that since my grades were in, I would not even have to think about school till Monday unless I wanted to. Two hours later, about two minutes after John and Claire walked in the door, a parent called. Why is her son failing? I am not really sure except that he is. I do know that the deadline for making up work has passed, so I don't feel too inclined even to talk about it. However, a concerned parent is a concerned parent, so I spent fifteen of the thirty minutes I had with John (before he headed off to his conference in DC) on the phone.

When I am not busy or stressed, I am sometimes lonely. Being engaged means that I want to be with John. Being in Virginia means that I am not generally able to be. Now I am aware that there are other people in the world. However, most people my age are single, it seems -- at least the ones I know, the other teachers and the parish people. As such, they are interested in other singles, and would like to associate with other singles in the hopes of ending their singleness. As a result, my roommate is always being invited to things, whereas I am often overlooked.

I don't exactly blame them -- after all, when they do invite me, I run home early so I can get my grading done, or sew a few stitches on my wedding veil, or call John, or any number of a million things I spend my time doing. And I don't really feel I'm missing that much -- I am not exactly close to any of these people, and I am not quite sure they know how to have a good time. To me, a good time involves lounging on the couch at Sean and Andrew's place and hearing John and the other guys discuss politics and pterodactyls. It can also involve bonfires and singing. Or wandering through the woods with a camera and a friend or two. It does not generally involve small talk, bars, or concerts.

So far, this email sounds very negative. In fact, I don't feel negative, at least not at the moment. I feel glad because John will be back from his conference soon, and we'll probably get together with our other friends and have something I would call a good time. I also feel glad because I can feel the time counting down toward a time that, hopefully, will make a lot more sense. Then, the same person I want to be with will be the person I am with. I will get to start putting a life together with the person I want to spend it with. We can arrange things to suit ourselves, instead of trying to fight our way through all the limitations that plague us like cellphone minutes and gas prices.

In the more immediate future, spring break, which I desperately need, is starting next Thursday. I am going home! For the last time, at least in one sense -- because the next time I go there, it arguably will not be "home," but "my parents' house." My "family" will be John and me, and my "home" will be a tiny little apartment in north Philly. All very strange, and will probably take some getting used to.

I am looking forward to seeing my family, especially the little ones who grow so fast and change so much. I also will get to see my maid of honor, whom I miss. In addition to being The Ideal Roommate (the kind everyone searches for and does not find), she is a good friend. She's going to be throwing a shower for me, and another day we plan to get together and do a wedding dress fitting. Both of those will be big events for sure. Mostly, though, I'm looking forward to catching up. It is such a shame that all my wonderful Christendom friends are scattered all over the place. At least at the wedding, most of us will get a chance to see each other.

After Easter, there are only about five weeks left of school. Five weeks is not a long time. In fact, it is way too little time to cover the different infinitives, indirect discourse, ablative absolute, and the subjunctive in Latin II. I'll do my best. But then the year will be over, and I will get a little break. The plan is to stay out here for the first week of June, and then head to Wisconsin sometime soon after that, to do wedding-ish stuff and spend time with my future sisters-in-law. Two of them are going to be going to the convent soon, so I have to catch my time with them while I can.

And after that? Why, at that point, it will be three weeks till the wedding! I imagine they will pass the slowest of any three weeks ever, but I know the day will be here before we know it!